stand-up comic, fall-down comedian,
surreal snigger-songwriter, guitar-hero, performance-artist,
[tall] story-teller, philophoser, scriptwriter, [none can] compere,
man-of-mystery, inner-childminder, actor, stuntman,
metaphysical-poet, human ping-pong ball,
life and soul of the [kids] party, world-class athlete,
leading socialite, raconteur, business tycoon, wit,
author, half-wit, secret[sh!]-agent,
[vauxhall] astral-traveller, shamen,
geordie-cultural-attache, word-juggler,
snake-charmer, underline-dancer,unexpected clairvoyant,
dream-weaver, daydream believer,
psycho-linguist, shark-wrangler, smile sculptor,
[compulsive] lying-tamer, Great-British eccentric,
[alleged] international-jewel-thief,
hot-dog-skier, alien-abductee,
zen grand-master, champion tiddly-winker, sandancer,
friend to the pantomime horse, erstwhile slice of bacon,
and
all-round good egg. 

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